180-day recap

Oy vey, it’s been quite the stretch since I’ve visited WordPress and put up anything of substance. Never one to completely abandon a project, I thought it would be appropriate to type up a little story about what’s been keeping me away so long.

I work in health care, once again.

I started a new job on Oct. 24 at Pathology Associates Medical Laboratories, or PAML for short. I applied for a random position working in their logistics department but after acknowledging the fact that I have previous lab experience, the director of HR asked me to consider a position working in the problem resolution center. I accepted and left for 2 weeks of training at PAML headquarters in Spokane, Wash.

So, I work for PAML but am stationed in Colorado and represent a joint venture known as CLS — Colorado (or Centura) Laboratory Services. It’s a partnership between PAML and Centura Health Network that went live on Sep. 1, 2010.

To sum it up, I’m a problem solver. The middle man. Whipping boy. Escape artist. Researcher.

I’m the guy who calls your doctor if there was any problem with your lab work: our phlebotomist collected the wrong sample type, the lab lost your urine for a urine culture, there wasn’t enough blood to complete all of the ordered tests, etc. Then, I call you and ask you to come back for more testing. As you can imagine, I’m quite familiar with being yelled at.

Additionally, I provide a lot of marketing and managerial support; they come to me with special requests and questions regarding processes, systems and, of course, problems. And, really, I enjoy working the problems. Finding solutions is something I’ve always thought I was good at and combining that with customer relations — well, that’s kind of my thing. I’m good at putting people at ease and walking them through the situation, even when it sheds an ugly light on the organization I represent. In that case, I never lie, but gently arranging my words into a very specific order is a helpful trick. That English degree comes in handy, after all.

To say that I’m in love with my job would be an outright lie, though. It’s missing a few major qualities that, frankly, I’m just not willing to compromise: I miss working with real people, not just telephone voices and poorly crafted E-mail dialogues. I sit behind a computer and on the phone all day long. Granted, a career writing would entail a similar sort of set-up, but that would be it — I’d be at least doing what I want to do. And what I spent nearly $80,000 in scholarships and student loans to do.

Just last week, one of our clients asked me to draft a statement defining PAML’s relationship with Centura and our GM gave me the go-ahead to come up with something on my own. I was pumped. That’s when I remembered how much I like words. That’s when I decided it’s time to keep looking for the next step towards my future.

So, for now, I’m a problem solver at CLS/PAML. I may be there for a while, which would be OK, but I think I’ll go back on the offense and re-establish my search.

Great news for Jeremy Gant

Here’s an update on Jeremy Gant, a golfer from my alma mater – Newman University – who I met immediately when I began working in admissions. Just 19, Jeremy recently found out that he needed a heart transplant and was on constant standby for the life-changing call regarding his survival.

Thank God for organ donors. If you’re not one, register now.

Stu Butcher
Chanute Tribune Editor

The words were overwhelming, “We’ve got a match for your heart.”

Chanute’s Jeremy Gant, who took the phone call at home about 9 p.m. Sunday night, couldn’t speak, literally.

“He couldn’t talk and started crying,” Jeremy’s mother, Lisa, said from St. Luke’s Hospital in Kansas City on Monday afternoon.

The nurse on the other end called back to Lisa Sunday night and the process of a heart transplant began. While Lisa was getting the necessary information, Jeremy was waking up his Dad, Cecil, who was sleeping preparing for the midnight shift at Ash Grove. At least he was somewhat rested prior to the two-hour journey to Kansas City.

The Gants packed and arrived at the hospital at 11:15 p.m. Jeremy was prepped for surgery, which was scheduled at 1:30 and later moved back to 2 a.m. The donor heart arrived at 3:15 and the surgery started at 3:45.

At 5:30 a.m., the parents were told the heart was in and working and the numbers were great, Lisa said. Then at 9:30 they were able to see their son through a window. He was still being monitored closely, particularly because of blood thinning issues. A little later, although still groggy, he gave his parents the thumbs up sign.

 

Newman U golfer Jeremy Gant recently received a new heart after a month on the transplant list.

 

The latest update on Monday afternoon was that Lisa said that nurses were hoping to get him sitting up in bed to eat some pudding at mid-afternoon.

She cautioned that doctors said the second day could be worst than the first.

A 2009 graduate of Chanute High School and a standout golfer at CHS and a member of the team at Kansas Newman University, Gant suddenly began experiencing heart problems in the middle of August. Doctors discovered Jeremy had a problem with a heart valve and also discovered that he had an enlarged heart. Doctors then told the family a transplant was the only option.

Have a heart

Lisa reflected on the events of the past 15 hours.

“I can’t even explain it. It’s like having a child again, a rebirth,” she said. “He has a new birthday, a second birthday, 10-11. They got him a good young heart.”

Jeremy is expected to remain in ICU

for two to three days and in the hospital 7 to 10 days.

Lisa said they aren’t being told any information about the donor.

“I want to thank them for giving our son a second chance,” she said of the donor’s family. We’ve been praying constantly for them. Our happiness is their tragedy. It’s bittersweet.

“I hope someday I can meet them and let them know that he live on through Jeremy.”

Donor duty

Jeremy again has heard from Erik Compton, a professional golfer who has had not one, but two heart transplants.

He let Jeremy know as soon as he could they would play a round of golf “and show the world miracles happen through organ donation,” Lisa said.

“I can’t thank organ donors enough, for giving him a new life,” she said.

The Gants got the call they wanted 30 days to the day that Jeremy was put on the transplant list.

Jeremy on Sunday was on the last dose of antibiotics from a flareup, and Lisa said he was concerned about getting sick again.

Now he’s on a new road to recovery.

“We ask that the prayers and support please continue for his recovery. Chanute has been so awesome, I couldn’t live anywhere else.”

Read more: The Chanute Tribune – Gant faring well after heart transplant in KC

Hey, look. I’m (sort of) published

I’ve been added to the huge list of random writers on Suite101.com and have just had my first article published. On unemployment and job scams. Those crafty information thieves are everywhere and I’ve run into more than I’d like.

A Job Hunter’s Tips to Avoid Scams

Also, I’ve been doing an unpaid internship for a dating advice company, Nouveau Dating. So far, it’s been a great opp. for me to write and reflect on my dating past so as to help others. Kind of a funny thought, right? Me giving dating advice.

A better, more entertaining update to follow soon.

Break out the Zubaz, the Chiefs are loud again

Monday night at Arrowhead Stadium — a renovated bowl full of trash talking, beer drinking, brat eating, jersey wearing, tailgate professionals — the Kansas City Chiefs earned back a bit of the respect that they once commanded. KC Star contributor Sam Mellinger wrote a great article on just that — how, For one night, Arrowhead was again the loudest NFL stadium.

I sat in bed working on a pre-employment personality profile while watching the game and I found myself yelling at the TV…in excitement at seeing the finished stadium…in celebration of Dexter McCluster’s 94-yard punt return…just to fit in with the live crowd. Once I stopped yelling, I laughed as I thought of how hard it is to focus in that stadium that literally booms with sound. No wonder the Chargers received delay of game because they couldn’t get a play started — it was too loud.

Isn't it wonderful? Imagine the noise.

An aerial view of Arrowhead showed a beautiful site. Not only was the stadium packed for the season home opener, but it was loaded with red people; Chiefs fans. Beautiful, excited Chiefs fans.

It reminded me of being a kid. My dad has always been a loyal supporter of the Kansas City Chiefs and he trained us to take the team just as seriously as he does. Sundays were great days — we’d go to church, come home and have a big breakfast together, watch a little bit of WWF and then get ready for the game: Chiefs towels would be hung from the ceiling, one of us kids would get to wear the inflatable Chiefs helmet, and we all had our own red, foam tomahawks so that we could properly chant along with the crowd. Upon reflection, there was way too much red in that tiny living room but it was great.

It was a blast. And they would win (some) games, giving us a reason to go all out again the next weekend.

But when they lost, it wasn’t a whole lot of fun for anyone. I remember that after some losses, my dad would send us to bed. A loss at noon meant bedtime at 3. It’s funny, in retrospect, but I could never sleep that early. Come on, dad. Well, actually, come on, Chiefs.

So, on the last play of the game when the Chargers were threatening to score and tie the game up, I had a flashback to my dad’s frustrated face with those eyes that just said, “bed.” Granted, it was a late game and I was just about ready for sleep after the time ran out, but how could I with that excitement? So I watched the Chiefs shut the Chargers down, 21-14. Great stuff.

Okay, so yeah, one win isn’t a championship and they still have plenty to work on, as Mellinger lists out in his story. But, to know that the excitement is still there — fans will risk pneumonia in order to see how Kansas City finishes a game — is exhilarating. At least for one game, one week, it’s back.

Long live Chiefs nation.

“Wet dust won’t fly.” Hello, infomercial.

TRY THE AMAZING RAINBOW CLEANING SYSTEM AND SEE WHAT IT’S LIKE TO BREATHE FRESH, RAIN-CLEANED AIR IN YOUR HOME!!!

Crap.  I should have known better than to answer the rather vague ad on Craigslist, but it seemed so easy and probably a good experience to laugh at.

It was an ad for a flexible job working with “green” technology under a company known as Airflow Essentials, Inc. (Google them and you’ll turn up about as much as I did.) They advertised for openings in management training, marketing, and customer relations, so I figured I might be interested to learn more about what exactly this place was. When I saw the advertisement (IN ALL CAPS), I thought that it might have something to do with wind energy or emissions control. Dumb boy.

The dude E-mailed me back and asked me to pick a time to come for an interview to learn more and what not, piquing my interest in the legitimacy of his company. I responded with my selected time and questioned the fact that he was looking for people with 3+ years of Colorado residence. That’s not me and he didn’t answer my question.

I showed up a little early dressed in my interview attire. (You might have even thought I was ready to ask if you’ve read the good book.) Shannon Sanders, the apparent president of this division, greeted me with a sturdy handshake and asked me to sign in before I was seated by a woman named Rita. I filled out this personality questionnaire but refrained from completing the application when I saw that it asked for 5 references — all of whom had to either be homeowners or purchasing a home in the Front Range area in the near future. My crap detector had already been going off, but this just added to it.

The Rainbow Cleaning System that resembles a miniature R2D2 and emits a pleasant aroma of your selection: Apple Blossom, Eucalyptus, Vanilla, or Bull Shit!

The demonstration began after Shannon turned down the Coldplay on the stereo. I sat near the back and tried not to laugh when he unveiled the amazing Rainbow air cleaner built on HURRICANE TECHNOLOGY. A fancy air purifier. No way!

Shannon, or Mr. Sanders, as he introduced himself, did this 30-45 minute spiel on how amazing this product was before he briefly touched on the job and what it consists of. I looked around for any candid cameras before I watched him spoon feed the 23 people in the room this crap about making $700+ per week. I remember reading this verbatim:

Many people will become wealthy. Some individuals will become millionaires and own their own businesses.

“Oh, Mr. Sanders! After I become a wealthy millionaire business owner with no college degree, will I get my own planet filled with virgins, too?!”

I don’t think my face hid my thoughts very well, since I was cracking up with nearly every statement that came out of this tool’s mouth. I tried to figure out which of the people in the room were being paid to act interested in this stupid pyramid scheme and came up with about 4.

Before the demonstration, or “display,” was over, Shannon made sure to go over the expectations and benefits of working with this “company.”

• Professional dress is expected — ties for you fellows and appropriate dress for the ladies. Shannon was wearing black slacks and a green polo. Untucked.
• Work at your own schedule but most of the work comes, primarily, in the afternoon and evening. When customers are at home eating dinner and enjoying filthy air.
• Paid incentives for your work — trips, bonuses, promotions. Not to mention the chance to work with other like-minded professionals who just want to help improve air cleanliness. Oh, and, I don’t have much proof of this, but I’m pretty sure Mr. Sanders has a smoker’s voice.
• After the interviews were to take place that afternoon, you must call Shannon between 2:30 and 2:45 to see if you made the cut and can start training with a 3-hour orientation the following week. And then get paid the next Monday, less than a week and a half from the first interview. Amazing!
• One more quote from Mr. Sanders: “I have a girl who is blind and deaf who sells this product well.” If only I were that girl, I wouldn’t have to sit there and watch and listen to him.

I had heard enough and booked it when he gave the chance to finish filling out the application and personality exam. Now, I’ll use this experience as a lesson in how to avoid douchebaggery: run away from any man wearing a button with a rainbow on it and the words, “Don’t let me forget.”

I think you forgot a long time ago, Mr. Sanders, what the real world is like: full of dirty air and people who have common sense.

When I get cancer, I’m going to thank the folks at Weber

I grilled some beef patties last night that were nothing short of BBQ perfection; my dad would tear up if he saw my beer-in-hand flipping technique. After toasting the buns, I dressed the burger with some swiss cheese and a fried egg. And now, I’m salivating at the thought of that tasty sandwich. To me, there’s not much that can beat a well-crafted burger and, in fact, I generally judge a restaurant solely on its signature burger and fry combo.

Mmm...delicious cancer.

The August issue of Men’s Journal briefly made me bring my love of BBQ into question, though, as contributor John Hastings reported that meats cooked at high heat, such as those grilled, can introduce a carcinogen into your meal. Rather, highly heated meat can introduce another carcinogen into your diet.

According to the article, a study conducted by Kansas State University (Go Cats) drew results that show heterocyclic amines to be present in meats cooked at a high temp. What’s a heterocyclic amine? No idea, but apparently it’s a cancer-causing compound. It might be a shocking revelation to some, but my immediate response was something along the lines of, “So, what?”

I mean, enough research on any product is probably going to upset you with news that it causes cancer. Cell phones, styrofoam, plastic, nonorganic vegetables are all already on the list.  What’s next?  Carpet.  Dog fur.  New baby smell.  Tree bark.  Paranoia of getting cancer.

The American Cancer Society reports that a US male has just under a 50 percent chance of developing cancer in their lifetime. US females have slightly more than a 1 in 3 chance of developing it. Depressing, sure, but people get cancer — that seems to be all there is to it.

It might be a bleak outlook to have, but I figure I’ll get cancer at some point; it might as well come from something I love. Which is why I won’t blame the good people that make barbecuing so enjoyable but rather, I will thank them.  I like my charbroiled meats way too much to be angry with the fact that I’m going to die anyways. Long live Weber grills and Kingsford charcoal, even if I don’t.

Oh, P.S. – MJ did list a way to “prevent” the heterocyclic amines from surfacing on your cooked meats and it’s as simple as adjusting your recipes. Apparently rosemary, garlic, and lemon juice all contain an antioxidant that will fight the carcinogens into submission. But the habit of marinading or sprinkling those over your meat begs the question of what we will do when K-State or some other lab specialists tell us that those ingredients cause cancer, too.

My friends will be doctors and I shall live in their basements

Okay, it’s only been a month and a half that I’ve been out of work and I’ve survived so far, but that’s not to say that I’m settling into a lethargic state of contentment with my abundant free time. Quite the opposite, really; I’m starting to become anxious, unnerved, frustrated. Besides that, the dollars in my savings account are evaporating like a puddle on the sidewalk and I’m running out of things to do for free. I don’t like it.

I’ve become familiar with the job hunting world, that barbarian who demands a vigilant watch of disgusting Web sites such as Craigslist, Monster, and CareerBuilder. Even if you are on your best game and apply to a position within minutes of its posting, it’s safe to say that you will be among hundreds of applications that all resemble each other, each of whose author could possibly be your friend in real life but must be considered the heartless enemy and therefore, must die. How — oh please, God, tell me how — do I make my job application stand out with a sampling of my awesomeness and creativity? Also, how do I do that while maintaining a sense of maturity that implies there are no clip-ons in my tie collection? That’s the real conundrum.

In the last few months, I’ve written 40+ cover letters and applied to dozens more open positions. I started with the standard, “here is my experience, please accept this blah blah crap” style and then decided to get more unique (according to the advice provided by the job boards and forums on Monster and the like). I began to show more of my sharp attention to detail — commenting on a company’s achievements, recent news, reputation, etc. I listed more of my applicable experience and knowledge that is specific to each job.

I only cut the ones I love. Or work with, when asked.

I even went to the point of researching the elements of a Swiss Army knife in order to compare myself to a versatile tool of destruction — err, versatile tool of…utility. In one application, I created a word game and inserted it into the letter (for a company who creates scavenger hunts for its clients). I was super pumped about the fact that I had the opportunity to get creative and hopefully hook someone on my distinct talents. Both turned up a big ole goose egg.

Despite my continuous bitching about being unemployed for this short time, I have to admit that it’s not all that bad. I haven’t had any real interviews yet (with exception of a misleading advertisement that wasted 3 hours of my time) but I’m beginning to get some positive feedback from those that I’ve applied to that are most relevant to my work experience and career plans.

But still, if none of those work out and I’m left in a perpetual state of unemployment, I’m not too concerned. Anxious, unnerved, and frustrated, sure, but I have a backup.

I have a few good friends in medical, law, vet, and PT schools who I’m sure would be happy to let me reside in their dank basements once they get established. I could dress up and be the basement monster that scares their children into eating vegetables, doing homework, and staying out of the basement. Everyone needs a basement monster.

The unemployed can only hope to be like this infamous basement monster and drunk, Janice Dickinson. Ooh, scary.

I’ll be the resident drunk who sets the example of what not to do with your life and only talks of the past while also insulting those who give me everything. I’m telling you, the kids will love me. Or fear me. I’m satisfied with either.

Maybe I’ll get a job, though, and then all my dreams of being a full-time basement monster with a future of cirrhosis will be left on the shelf along with my abundance of free time, anxiety and employment frustrations.

The blessings of a small church

Last night, my mother and I went to mass at Holy Savior Parish in the Diocese of Wichita and were pleased to hear some news delivered by Rev. James Billinger.

 

Located near Grove and 13th St. North in Wichita, Kan., Holy Savior Catholic Parish is a real "beacon on a hill" for many people in the community.

 

Holy Savior is situated in one of the worst parts of Wichita and is surrounded by violence, poverty, and an overwhelmingly negative influence on the local youth.  Despite this and in addition to the small congregation, Holy Savior also runs a school, Holy Savior Catholic Academy, which is responsible for the education of over 200 children in grades K-8. It’s a diverse population that welcomes families from all backgrounds with a primary emphasis on the African American Catholic community.

Over the last year, Holy Savior has been fortunate to receive a few substantial blessings:

• An anonymous supporter stepped forward to provide $200,ooo for the purchase of a building near 15th St. for an expansion of Holy Savior’s facilities. The total cost of purchase was $300,000.
• Holy Savior struggles to obtain the appropriate funding necessary in order to educate all of the children in their stewardship-driven school. (See the diocese’s Web site for more information on the virtually-free methods for providing education in Wichita.)  In the past, the task of coming up with this funding has been left to the pastor. However, just recently, Fr. Billinger was notified of another substantial donation to be used for the formation of a director of development position with the parish — a $50,000 salaried position for five years that allows Fr. Billinger to better address the needs of the greater church community.
• Finally, the state of Kansas approved of a grant for Holy Savior Catholic Academy to receive somewhere between $400 – 5oo,000 for the next few years to help meet the unmet needs of educating the children of the neighborhood.  Interestingly, most of the kids in this neighborhood are not even Catholic, yet this grant makes it possible for the Academy to reach out to everyone.

My jaw literally dropped open as Fr. Billinger continued to speak on the blessings and generosity that Holy Savior has been fortunate enough to receive. That’s nearly $1 million in donated money to one organization with no formal fundraising in place. For lack of a better expletive, holy crap.

I suppose I shouldn’t be so surprised, though.  I mean, as I looked over at my mom sitting next to me in the pew, I remembered what she likes to say during times in need: “God provides.”  The people of Holy Savior Parish and the Diocese of Wichita can certainly attest to the truth behind that statement.

Swimming like a hippie at El Dorado Springs

One of my favorite things that I’ve done so far since moving to Denver was going swimming at the large pool at El Dorado Springs, just outside of Boulder.  About a 30-minute drive from north Denver, the area is home to a pleasant, quiet community known for its natural spring water that you can bottle yourself.

A friend and I like to make a day of it and pack a cooler of beer and a cold lunch.  No one has told us to leave the beer outside and I haven’t seen any signs that might suggest it, so I’m calling it okay.  Both times I’ve been there in the short 3 weeks that I’ve lived in Colorado, we’ve been rained on, making the pool seem a little less attractive.  However, we paid our $8 admission, so we made the most of the spring board (watch out and don’t dive deep; the pool is only 8 feet in ground) and the sweet slide.  No, 23 is not too old for a slide.

Notice the super fast slide into the shallow end of a pool with a gorgeous view of the mountains. Also notice the lifeguard stands; they don't like it when you try anything funny or badass on said slide.

I can breathe at this altitude

Last post was June 14 — this guy’s been slacking.  Here’s a brief update on what kind of stuff I’ve been doing.

• I quit my job at Newman on June 18, exactly one year (minus a day) from my start date.  I’ll miss (most of) the people, but a year is definitely long enough.
• I quit my job at Corporate Caterers the week of June 28, over six years from my start date.  It went fast and I’ll miss that job and the people.
• I participated in my first mud volleyball tournament in Toronto, Kansas, over the fourth of July weekend with my siblings.  We lost to a group of beer-bellied yokels.  I heard banjos in the distance.
• I said my goodbyes to both grandparents and they were all very supportive of my semi-spontaneous decision to move to Colorado.  On top of that, I said goodbye to (most of) the friends I hang out with on a regular basis with one final night at the Shamrock Lounge on Douglas Ave.  It was great to see everybody and an even greater reminder of what I wanted to get away from for a while.  I’ll miss them.
• I loaded up my car with all of my clothes and essentials (kayak on top, mountain bike on back), went to the local bar with my best friends and sister, and celebrated our futures with drinks.
• I told my parents I loved them and hit the road at 7:30 a.m., Central, on July 6.
• I arrived in Denver before 3 p.m., Mountain, and reveled in the thin, mountain air.

So it’s been two weeks since I left the wind-blown, humid plains of Kansas and I’m still convinced that moving was a good idea.  I’m not broke yet, I’m making new friends (slowly — it’s hard when you don’t have a platform for meeting people like school or a job), and I’m learning this town and everything that the area has to offer pretty quickly.

Things I’ve done of notable significance since arriving in Denver:

• Toured the delicious Coors Brewery in Golden, Colorado.  I must say that it wasn’t as amazing as I had hoped, but we got 3 free beers out of it and met this crazy Pennsylvania lady and her gorgeous daughter (and daughter’s gorgeous friend) while there.  Golden is a nice town, too.  Stopped at the Buffalo Rose (biker bar) for lunch and beer and were delighted to find that their burger special was actually a McDonald’s double cheeseburger.  The waitress even advertised it as such when I asked her what came on it.  Needless to say, she sold me.
• Went to various bars in Denver including one called Sancho’s that reminds me quite a lot of the Sham, although the bathrooms at Sancho’s are a bit nicer (makes up for the foul smell of the bar — like vomit and stale beer).
• Visited El Dorado Canyon for a good swim. (The locals pronounce it “el do-rah-do” as opposed to the Kansas pronunciation of “el do-ray-do.” I hear they also say “ar-kan-saw” vs. the correct “ar-kan-zus.”  Foolish people.)  There’s a large pool complete with a slide and a nice spring board that sits next to a flowing creek that you have to cross a drawbridge to get to.  It was neat.  And, apparently, it used to be a hippie commune.  Dirty?  Nah, chlorine kills all.
• Played on an indoor sand volleyball team at a place called “The Island.” There’s a bar in between 6 sand courts in a giant warehouse.  Why didn’t anyone think of this back home?  I’m calling dibs on it right now.  DIBS.  Oh, and we lost both games.
• Planning more excursions such as a camping trip to the Great Sand Dunes and a white water rafting trip.  And still looking for a good place to kayak.

There’s still plenty to learn and see and you can bet I’ll do a better job of updating this thing.